So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
