So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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