It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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