The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
