well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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