He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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