Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
