Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
