Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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