I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
