There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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