Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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