I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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