I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize