So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
