i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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