You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
birth control should be required to get into college
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
