Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
