This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
