You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
