I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize