i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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