How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
worst night to have a conscience
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
