when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
