i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
