Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
