I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
