hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize