Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
