the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
