The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
