I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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