I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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