in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was confusing and full of hummus
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
