My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
