you guys were way drunker than both of me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
