make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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