The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
