I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize