Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
