Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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