Non-Jews are for practice
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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