Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
