Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
