I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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