Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
