I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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