You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
