Pappa wants mamma naked
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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