Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
