3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
