have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
