She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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