Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
