its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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