I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
