i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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