You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize