You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
His nipple licking is glorious
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