"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
