i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We left the knife in your bed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize