these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize