I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
